Well, after chemo number 7 (still have 11 more in front of me) the side-effects are getting more noticeable. Bleeding sores in my nose, my mouth (which makes talking and swallowing more difficult and painful) and sores all over my body as an allergic reaction to all the medications I get. For my mouth, I use a tincture with sage and just got a wonderful tincture from the oncology ward - it disinfects and anesthetizes my mouth. For my body I use diluted organic apple vinegar and dab it on. I smell like a summer salad, but it sure helps relieve the itch. And feeling tired and drowsy most of the time - which annoys me, there are so many things I want to paint or designs I want to create but lack the energy to do so.

I'm writing this mostly for myself - to journal my journey with having cancer for the sixth time, and how I cope with it - in my case, that means making lots of art work (painting with oil and watercolors, making illustrations and digital designs and paper greeting cards, which I sell online), reading about art - and trusting my Lord for every step I take and every new day. Every journey is different - I can only talk about the things I experience or what lifts me up - so if my blog gives you insight and lifts you up that's great - if not, as I said, this is my personal story about what makes me tick. The first time I had cancer, I was 40 years old and my kids were one and two years old. I also was a single mother, as my husband had died a short time ago. For those of you who like me see an interaction between a healthy mind and body, I guess this proves the point - despair in the mind creates havoc in the immune system. Over the last twenty years cancer came and went - I had six operations, twice radiation treatments, three times chemo-therapy, immune-therapy, hormone-treatments, weekly infusions and monthly shots. I don't want to bore you with details like the histology, what kind of cancer and stage, where it was etc... since for me, that is not relevant. Relevant is today and how I live with having cancer again, how I cope with the side-effects of the medications. Another reason I think the diagnosis is not important is the fact that there is always hope - regardless of what the doctors say - because we have a loving, almighty God, for whom nothing is impossible. Neither will I post images of a hospital ward or me with a bald head or wig. These are just the more or less private ramblings of a slightly chaotic person coping with the things I encounter in life. So this is the sixth time I was diagnosed with cancer - I guess I want to make it into the Guinness Book of Records (just want to clarify that I say this jokingly, I have a queer sense of humor). I think the life motto of our family was "either all or nothing, but don't live life halfheartedly or halfway" and we sure lived up to that motto. I still shout "over here, over here" when good - or bad - things get passed out in life :-). A few words about me: I'm not British, but prefer to write in English. I'm an artist (maybe you already guessed that) whose passion is creating and the creation. I'm still a single mother and have found my peace with that fact, since another trait in our family is stubbornness and knowing better and just thinking about the idea of what it would be like if another person tells me how to raise my kids gets my feathers ruffled. (Joke, joke - there are some great men and fathers out there, unfortunately, they did not cross my path). And I'm a follower of Jesus Christ.